"forgive me my weakness..."

On the night of April 21st I went to LOVE with Redouane and Lisa. It's usually impossible to find a decent parking space, and being that LOVE is only blocks from a scary DC ghetto, a decent parking space will dramatically decrease the chances of your car being broken into or stolen. Unfortunately, the decent parking space I found was over a crosswalk that I didn't notice and I ended up getting a $50 ticket. That's not very decent.

Last Friday I realized that I still hadn't paid the ticket. It was the 19th, and if I didn't pay it before the 21st the fee would double. $100 is even less decent. Then I couldn't even remember where the ticket was, and after a while I realized that it was still at Redouane's apartment. I cursed myself for not remembering to bring it with me the last time I was at his place.

I had no choice but to call him. I hadn't talked to him or seen him since we decided to be friends that past Tuesday. After four days with no contact I was starting to recover, starting to get into a new routine, starting to accept that I couldn't be with him. To others, four days might not seem like enough time to recover but I spent mostly every day with him for almost two months. No contact with him for four whole days felt like an eternity. I knew calling him was a mistake but I couldn't afford not to.

I called him Friday night as he was getting to work. He was very nice on the phone and kindly agreed to stop by after work. He works 12 hour shifts from 7pm-7am so I went to sleep, still cursing myself for not paying the damn ticket.

He called at 8am to tell me he was outside my house. I went out and asked him if he wanted to come in. I shouldn't have done that. I should have just grabbed the ticket and ran like hell. He agreed, and came in. He gave me the ticket and a my t-shirt from the Strokes concert that I didn't even know I'd left there. I gave him back a few things that I had, and then we sat, at a distance. Neither one of us said anything for a while and then he told me he had a problem. I asked him what his problem was. He told me that there is a girl he likes, and he knows that she likes him, and they had been dating, but she doesn't want to talk to him anymore and he doesn't know what to do and he's really sad about it.

Redouane never speaks plainly. He'll use metaphors, examples from his life or the lives of others, stories, he'll make up hypothetical situations. It's cute most of the time, and when he told me about his "problem" I couldn't help but smile. I told him that maybe although the girl did like him a lot, she didn't want to have to deal with all the frustrations that went into dating him. I was even able to elaborate without getting emotional, which I hadn't been able to do before. I'd usually get flustered, or angry, or start crying. As I spoke, I could see that he finally realized how I felt, and he apologized.

A few minutes later I sat with him and he started to cuddle with me. He told me he missed me and that he would behave if I wanted to get back together. I couldn't resist. We ended up spending the day together.

It's been almost a week now and there has been improvement. He doesn't talk about other girls, he doesn't talk to other girls when I'm with him, and I can see that he's watching himself, he's trying to be less of a manwhore. It's a hard habit for him to break, he's been a manwhore for a decade. He's actually taking me seriously now, and that's all I was asking for.

I can't say that this is a happy ending. There is still the issue about the wife in Morocco. I have to wait and see if he'll continue to behave. It's just a second chance for the both of us. I can't say I was always right in the relationship. We'll just have to wait and see.