Mis Amores

Today I:

Had a conversation with my mom about the meaning of John Lennon's "Imagine" as I was taking her to work. We both love the song, and as we listened to it, she described the image it created for her of a happy couple blissfully walking through a park hand in hand. I explained to her that the song was about world peace and unity and she actually listened to what I had to say, and made remarks that weren't uncalled for. It was quite a moment.

Mikey came over to keep me company. We are most officially going steady and it is oh, so nice.

I went to Oasis (the hooka bar) and had my last cigarette and hooka for at least the next two weeks. I'm having my wisdom teeth removed on the 20th and since I've never had any type of invasive surgery, I'm taking all the precautions necessary. The guide I got from the doctor said I must quit smoking at least a week prior to surgery, and then at least 48 after. It did not say "MENDY you must quit smoking!!!!" but it was close enough.

I'm also considering quitting my regular smoking habits all together. I haven't been enjoying it as much as usual recently, I feel like a novice again, feeling lightheaded after a few drags and then being annoyed and nauseated by the smell afterwards. Mikey doesn't like my smoking either, and although that's not a reason to quit, I would be quitting for myself and by myself, it's something that would make him happy. This does not exclude social smoking at parties, clubs, Oasis or while I'm drinking. In the infamous words of an adorable British man named Ferret "I've got to have my fags if we're drinking or I'll go fucking mad." He said something like that, I mostly just remember the adorable facial expressions.

Tomorrow I'm taking Mikey back to school at CNU. We'll spend one last day and night together and then I won't see him until his birthday on March 1st. It's not too long, something like 6 weeks, but this will be our first official try at a "long distance relationship". Ooooooooh. The suspense is killing me.

Why Can't I?

It's common knowledge:
- One should not develop feelings for good friends
- One should not do naughty things with good friends
- One should not do either of the above when said good friend is 1. going back to school in a week and 2. will be living a three hour drive away until December.

I can already hear Sam protesting, "What the hell?! A three hour drive?? Try an eight hour plane ride!!" I love you dear.

Anyway, I obviously have no common knowledge. I've done all of the above and now I'm SCREWED.

I think I'm a relationship masochist. Actually, I know I am. Lisa and I both are, we've discussed this before. We only fall for guys who are guaranteed to cause the most emotional damage, no matter how obvious it may be.

"Oh, so I'm going to fall in love with you and loose my virginity to you and then go back home, 4,000 miles away, not knowing when or if I'll ever see you again? Okay!"

"Sure I'll date you for four months and care for you more everyday even though you've already stated that you're too young for love, don't care about anyone including yourself, and that your friends and smoking are your top priorities in life?"

I'm a dumb shit. A card carrying first class dumb shit.

A history of my relations with the above mentioned good friend, also known as Mikey:
Leticia and I met him in this past summer when he came to work with us at Hallmark while he was free from the grasps of college life at CNU. I thought I wouldn't like him, despite all the positive comments from my manager Sande. I should have believed her, because she is beautiful, all knowing, and all-powerful. Leticia and I both became friends with Mikey pretty quick, probably because he's quiet and dorky and Leticia and I love dorks, because we are biggest dorks. I must admit, his dorkiness caused me to have a little crush on him for a while, but as a friendship blossomed, it faded away.

Mikey went back to school, and at the time I was head over heels for Brahim so it wasn't too heartbreaking. Leticia and I visited him at CNU during the fall; she was touring as a high school senior looking for a place to start her college life; I just mooched a ride to see my buddy.

We kept in touch throughout the semester, and when he came back for winter break, I don't know what happened but we ended up in some steamy embraces. That little crush from the summer had a serious growth spurt.

I love Mikey, he's a good friend. We have great conversations. He's funny, caring, attentive, and a little weird. Before the whole steamy embraces I'd make him cuddle with me while we hung out and watched movies with Leticia and he never tried to grope me. It was very refreshing. And now...

I know he'd be a good boyfriend, but I don't know how good I'd be. The distance would be difficult, I would get lonely, and Lisa and I always meet new guys when we go out. I'd hate myself if I did anything to hurt him.

But Mikey makes me happy, I feel truly cared for and protected with him.

We're going to spend the day together tomorrow, and as many other days in the next week because he's leaving on the 14th and then I won't see him until his birthday, March 1st. Hopefully I won't be so confused by then, but knowing myself, I'll just be even more confused.

eBay: Friend or Foe?

I love eBay. Ash and I discovered it around the same time last winter, and I remember we agreed not to tell Sam about it because, already a shopaholic, she would have ended up in debt if she discovered how much she could save and therefore how much more she could buy. We didn't have to worry though, Sam never became an eBayer and is still in good financial standing. I however, became an eBayer. I now buy all my CDs and DVDs for about half of what I would at any store, and it's a good place to find unique things for cheap. Thanks to eBay, Sam and I went to see Coldplay, a marvelous experience, and I also bought my Creative Zen Micro for about $50 less than what it retails for. I love eBay, it is my happy place.

Why would it be a foe then?

I work at Hallmark, and this past Christmas was my first with the company. Before then, I knew that Hallmark was BIG on their ornaments, but I honestly never gave a crap. Then I witnessed the behavior of people who want these ornaments and other Hallmark collectibles. It's a little crazy. Even while I witnessed little old ladies beating each other with their purses over these ornaments, it never dawned on me that with all this unlimited access to limited merchandise, I could be making a pretty penny on eBay.

About a week ago, a co-worker/friend of mine told me that he and another Hallmark employee had been selling the most popular items of 2005 on eBay for a few weeks, and between the both of them I think they've made over $1,200. This really flabbergasted me. For example, there's an ornament that's sold out called "Rockin' with Santa". It's a little record player that had three records that it "plays", very cute; it retails for something like $25. My friend bought four, auctioned them on eBay, and made over $200. I felt like an idiot when he told me about it; there's another item, the Piano Snowman, that retailed for $12.95. I don't know how many of those damn singing fuckers I set up around the store, the countless boxes I carried and unpacked. We had at least 200 of those shits, and we sold out before Christmas. I just checked eBay and the bidding on those blasted fucks are at around $30 each.

Now my friend is encouraging me to get in on the eBay action. For some reason, I feel that it's unfair and that I'd be doing something wrong. Then again, eBay is based on selling things others have already purchased, and I could use the money. It just feels so easy, too easy. But when I think of those damned Piano Snowmen...

Welcome to 2006

Who needs London when you have JonCarlos?